I had a dream a few weeks after my dad died.
I was sitting on a pier – it was nighttime. I was myself except I was in a different form. Like a fire embodied. A fire encapsulated in the shape of a body.
There was someone sitting next to me – also a fire embodied.
He had his arm around my shoulder. I was sad as I felt alone in the world, yet with him sitting there I knew I wasn’t alone in the world. I simply hadn’t met him yet.
He said to me he was happily married for 22 years. I burst into tears. Not that I cried any tears. I was heart broken. I felt alone again, because even though, here he was, he suddenly felt inaccessible. Unobtainable. No longer within reach despite him being beside me.
He said it’s ok – I’ll leave her.
I said – no, you can’t leave her. If you are truly happy, do not leave.
Don’t worry he said. I’ll leave. It is done.
I knew this was that person I’d never found. The one I’d been hoping for. Waiting for. Wanting to meet.
I woke from this dream feeling sad that I wasn’t sure if I’d ever meet him. And yet I also felt so complete knowing he was out there, and that at least I met him in my dream.


(image – At the end of my street. 2K15 E.R.S) Dream sometime around October 2K14